We all know Romance gets a bad rap. We hide our book covers and are sometimes embarrassed when we’re discovered reading them in the dark corners of our libraries. Yes, romance novel haters are out there and of course we fear their judgment. So that brings us to The Horror of Romance. What is the Horror of Romance? Well, here we’ll examine why romance novels are so funny to so many people…including the people who read them.
Today’s Victim: Heartmate by Robin D. Owens
Lisa’s Thoughts: Oh.My.God. What the hell is this? He looks like he’s trying to portray a character that is strong and proud but there’s one small flaw. Really, I don’t care who you are…you can be Hulk Hogan or the Jolly Green Giant trying to overexert the testosterone, but when you have a small fluffy kitten wearing a glow in the dark collar standing next to you? You loose any and all claims of masculinity and power in my book. Ha! I just don’t get it. I also love the ‘sub category’ on the cover: Magical Love. Is that the name for paranormal genre before there was actually paranormal novels? It’s too cute! To me, it’s looks like the makings of a best selling barbie doll. Puffy pirate shirt, corny heart necklace and large gold sword included. When you purchase suave Heartmate Ken you get a free kitten! Yay! Beware…all dolls are not anatomically correct!
Bottom line, if I were the heroine in this story I know what I would say! ‘Please! No! I don’t want to be his heartmate!’
Stephanie’s Thoughts: You have to give props to the man. It’s not every guy who is so in touch with his masculinity that he can stand proud with his chest all puffed out while wearing a glowing heart necklace that puts Mr. T’s bling to shame! He also carries a big sword. It took me awhile to realize that it is indeed a sword. Honest to goodness I thought it was a stick at first! Don’t mess with his cat either! That poor kitty not only suffers the indignity of having to wear that God awful collar, but I don’t think he has any front legs! Seriously, there looks like there might be a line where his front legs might be but it isn’t defined at all. Not only does this book have a terrible cover but the heroine doesn’t even rate to get on the front of the book. Not even in submissive 80’s style. Poor thing, she needs a new agent!
The novel has since been re-issued with a new cover!