Ladies Behind the Blog: Alexa Gets Personal

Posted January 11th, 2018 by in The Ladies Behind the Blog / 0 comments

I’m here today to talk about something personal that has been going on in my life. This will not be a talk of books so if you are looking for that I encourage you to go read other wonderful posts on the blog.

Lately I have been very frustrated that in my life people seem to look at me and expect me to be pregnant.

I was recently married in March 2016 and ever since I was married people seem to think a baby will just pop into place for my husband and I. I’m here to say that I get tired of being asked over and over when I’m going to get pregnant or why don’t I have a child yet. A lot of people just assume that since I’m married that I’m following a predetermined life path to then have a bunch of babies. Surely all women out there just must have a baby to complete their life. We are not really truly women or wives unless we made a child. It is not enough to work hard to gain a career. It is not enough to battle every day to prove yourself at said job so that you can make what your male coworkers make. It is not enough to work long hours working two jobs and then to come home to cook, clean or take a few minutes to read a book. None of this is enough! Trust me other women stick their noses into my personal life on a daily basis. They scream at me with their words and eye contact that I’m simply not doing what the world thinks I should do.

I worked very hard in school for 6 years to earn a degree in Nuclear Medicine. In high school I worked two jobs while finishing my senior year. In college I often took on course work between several college campuses taking up to 21 credits a semester. I did that while I worked a job from the late afternoon into the night. I went to school all morning and worked all night. I somehow formed a relationship with the man who would one day be my husband 6 years later. I worked my ass off in college to earn the right grades and the right degree to earn enough money to be able to afford to live on my own. I moved to a new city when I finished college all by myself. I paid my own bills and had my own little 2 bedroom apartment.

As time went on my then boyfriend moved to the new city to be with me and we started to form our life together, living together for the first time. We bought a house and eventually came the proposal and wedding.

You want to know where I am at now?

Now I work full time for a cardiac clinic Monday-Friday. I also kept my old hospital job and I work there on call at night and 1-2 weekends out of the month. This means that I work 12 days in a row with 5-6 of those nights or more being on call to have to wake up in the middle of the night to work. Sometimes I hardly sleep because I have to keep going to work for stat cases. I have been awake for 42 hours before working. I also work in a field that keeps me in constant contact with radiation. I get about 4 days off a month.

I live in a world where I barely have time for myself. I make time for my husband and my newly rescued greyhound, Sage. I am busy loving them in-between working my ass off.

I wish women would take into consideration some of these things before they ask me why I’m not pregnant. I’m not pregnant because I’m a very busy woman who doesn’t want to bring a baby into my life right now. I live a hectic life with not a lot of free time and babies demand attention constantly. I do not begrudge any woman who is pregnant, I’m happy for you if you are pregnant, just had a baby, have 2 at home or are trying to be pregnant. I wish you all the best and that is what I wish for women to think about when another woman says she isn’t pregnant and not wanting that right now for herself or her life. Last time I checked this is still my body and still my life. If I do not wish for a child no woman should make me feel worthless for not being a mother at this point in my life. We all want different things. Some women yearn to be mothers while others want to spend time traveling the world with their significant others. I may one day want to be pregnant but that day is not today.

To the woman who once literally told me I needed to go home, cook my husband dinner, and after to put on a sexy nighty to get my husband interested in impregnating me, this post is for you.

I need not do anything but be myself to have and hold my husband’s attention.

Alexa

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